Welcome to The Nerd's Quest, my journey of learning how to meet and date women as a computer nerd on the autism spectrum.
Friday, November 19th, 2021
This was my first official “Night Out” on The Quest since Halloween, though I had been out plenty of times in the interim doing training missions for the course I'm taking. I will be writing more about how this course is going in the near future, but it has been enormously helpful to me thus far.
The plan for tonight was to meet up with a guy who had posted on Reddit about looking for a wingman for his weekend vacation in Vegas. We chatted a little and decided that we would meet at the Mandalay Bay as that is where he was staying. I had no clue who this guy was, but I figured it was worth a shot since I would be heading out to The Strip either way. I had yet to do anything with a wingman, and I was nervously excited about how it would go.
I parked in the massive parking garage at the Mandalay Bay and headed over to the lobby where I met up with my soon-to-be-wingman. He turned out to be only a year older than me and in a very similar boat. He had started doing this stuff about six months ago.
The Mandalay Bay is located at the very southern end of The Strip. This meant that we had a lot of walking to do in order to get where most of the other casinos are located. We exchanged stories about how things had been going for us as we headed out. He told me that he had a major problem with approach anxiety and that he was very reliant on alcohol to overcome it. He also gave me some fashion advice — my clothes are apparently too baggy. He’s right. I definitely need to revitalize my wardrobe.
Cruising with my Wingman
We did our first approach in the MGM Grand. There were two hot girls in their early-mid twenties sitting together and hanging out. I went over and did my stock opener “Excuse me, I just had to say that you two look totally adorable together” and then chatted with them for a little before beckoning my wing over to join us.
We had a fun and flirty conversation with the two girls for a few minutes. I eventually tried to ask one for their phone number, but she told me she had a boyfriend. We wished them goodnight and left.
It was a good warmup. My wing was impressed that I had the courage to just go up and do that approach, especially with a direct opener like that. This was also my first time asking a girl I had just met for her phone number in ten years. That’s not an exaggeration.
We did another approach not long after. We were walking The Strip and saw two girls walking towards us. My wing opened this time. He went over and asked “Hey, do you guys know where the gay strip club is?” in a joking tone. The girls thought this was funny, and it turned into another flirty conversation. We both focused on a different girl and each of us ended up getting the phone number of the girl we were focusing on. The girl I was focused on genuinely seemed like she wanted to have sex, as she gave me her number she said something along the lines of “anything could happen… what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” They had dinner reservations somewhere, so we made tentative plans to meet up later that night.
My wing and I kept up the momentum. We kept walking The Strip doing more approaches. He really likes to use silly openers like the one about the gay strip club. It’s almost like The Bombing Opener, an opener so ridiculous that it is basically intended to fail. I prefer direct openers like telling her she looks adorable in her outfit, or if it’s a pair of girls, that they look adorable together.
After a couple hours he told me that he was exhausted and wanted to head back down to his hotel room to rest and drink some more alcohol. His legs were aching from all the walking. We still had a very long walk back to his hotel room, from The Venetian all the way down to the Mandalay Bay. 2.5 miles (4 km) according to Google Maps.
Eventually we made it back to his hotel room. He pulled out his laptop and showed me his spreadsheet where he keeps track of all the approaches he does. After each approach, he quickly pulls out his phone and jots down a few notes about it so that he can put the info in his spreadsheet later. As much as I love the idea of having a similar spreadsheet of my own, I would rather focus on being in the moment when I’m out and not have to do that constantly.
We each sent a text to the girls we had exchanged numbers with earlier that night. My wing suggested we invite them to an “after party” in his hotel room. He never got a response from his. Mine just responded with “Tonight?” and then (at the suggestion of my wing) I said “Yup, right now” and sent her a picture of a bottle of Grey Goose vodka my wing had just opened.
We waited for a while, but neither of the girls responded further. Regardless, this was an opportunity for my wing to regain his stamina and for us to keep talking strategy. My wing was drinking a lot. I just had a little, I generally don’t drink much, but the little I had was enough so that when we went back out, I was totally in state. I had no anxiety of any kind. I didn’t give a fuck. I was ready to do approach after approach without hesitation.
I started immediately doing approaches from basically the moment we hit the casino floor of the Mandalay Bay. My wing told me again how impressed he was with how I could just go up and do it. This gave me a nice confidence boost, as earlier in the night I was worried that he would think that I was super awkward or something along those lines. I even told him that I was on the autism spectrum. He said that he couldn’t notice, and the only thing that stuck out to him about it was that my voice sounds a bit monotonous (which, to be fair, it does).
He needed some extra encouragement doing approaches by himself, so he handed me two $20 bills and told me that I wasn’t allowed to hand them back to him until he started opening on his own. Each time he did, I was to hand him back one of the $20 bills. I guess that’s one way of motivating one’s self. Hey, if it works, it works.
It didn’t take him too long to get his money back. He did a few approaches on the casino floor of New York, New York. We decided to head back over to the MGM Grand, the same place where we did our first approach of the night. It was getting pretty late, and my wing was hoping a lot of girls would be coming out of the Hakkasan nightclub located inside the casino.
My First Instant Date
So there we were, walking around the casino floor of the MGM Grand, when I saw a girl walking by herself a bit of a distance away. I pointed her out to my wing, and he said something about not thinking she was “pullable” for some reason, but I wanted to go for it so I just went over and did the approach on my own. I used my stock opener — the one where I tell her that she looks adorable in that outfit. She was quite receptive and we walked and talked for a little while. She mentioned that she was looking for her friends, but her phone was dead and couldn’t get in contact with them.
Suddenly as we were walking by one of the bars inside of the casino, she asked me if I wanted to grab a drink. I was surprised, but went along with it. We went up to the bar and ordered drinks. She offered to pay half but I insisted on paying for both drinks. I’m old fashioned like that.
It turned into an instant date, my very first of The Quest. We talked about all sorts of random stuff. She was in Vegas to celebrate her 30th birthday. She ended up basically telling me her entire life story. I was so caught up in the moment that I lost track of time and didn’t even look at my phone for like the first 45 minutes we were together. When I finally did, I saw that my wing had sent me a message saying that he lost track of us and was asking how it was going. I replied and told him that we were having drinks and not to worry about me. My wing and I hadn’t really coordinated what we would do in a situation like this. It hadn’t actually occurred to me that this kind of success was even a possible outcome.
The instant date was a smashing success. It ended up lasting around two hours. She was very talkative, and so there weren’t many awkward silences or pauses. It felt kind of like she was throwing herself at me. Numerous times she asked me about what my plans were for later that night, asking me where I was staying, dropping all these little hints like that suggesting that she wanted me to invite her back to my place. She sexualized the conversation quite a few times too. There was also a decent amount of physical contact, nothing sexual, just stuff like rubbing each other’s backs. I hadn’t even really touched a girl other than shaking hands since I began The Quest. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
I was not prepared
It was after 5 AM by the time we got up from the bar. I didn’t really have the ability to pull — at least not back to a place of my own. I had lost contact with my wing, and I was pretty sure he had already gone to sleep by this point. I wouldn’t be able to use his room at the Mandalay Bay. In fact, I would have needed him to use his room key just to use the elevators, as the elevators require a room key to be operated, and they only allow you to take the elevator to the floor that the room is located, so realistically I couldn’t ask another random guest to do it for me. Trying to use his room just wasn’t going to happen.
As for my apartment, getting back there would have been very difficult. I was parked in the massive parking garage at the Mandalay Bay. Just getting back to my car would have been a major production. Like I mentioned earlier, the Mandalay Bay is located at the very southern end of The Strip, not very close to most of the other casinos, and then there would have been a 20-25 minute drive back to my apartment after that. Not to mention the fact that my apartment was a complete and total disaster zone… Trash was everywhere, I didn’t even have a working light in the bedroom, and I had left the sole bathroom in a totally disgusting state. So I concluded that trying to pull back to my place was not an option.
I could have asked her if she wanted me to come back to her hotel with her, which was located halfway up The Strip in the other direction. I thought that she might invite me herself, but she didn’t. I could be wrong, but I think it is quite unlikely that a girl would actually be so forward as to actually do the “pulling” for you like that. I was too timid to ask, and I had something in the back of my mind that I was worried about. I was worried that I would not be able to perform well sexually, as I had gotten a bit out of hand with the amount of masturbation I had done in the preceding days (no pun intended). Regardless, I didn’t have the logistics to pull, even if my potential performance wasn’t an issue worth worrying about.
Again, the idea of this level of success was so far beyond what I thought possible that I was totally unprepared for this moment. I will not make these mistakes again. It’s time to actually start planning out my logistics now that I know that this level of success is a possible outcome.
We ended up exchanging numbers and bidding each other a good night after we left the bar. She was flying back to Florida late the following night, so it was unlikely we would see each other again. Before we went our separate ways, she insisted that I text her when I get back to my place to let her know that I got home safely. I did exactly that, and we wished each other a good night a second time over text.
Final Thoughts
Overall, this was the most amazing night of The Quest up to this point. I can’t believe how well it went for me! I still see myself as a beginner, and it excites me to think about how far I will be able to go. If I can pull this off as a beginner, how crazy will things get once I get to an intermediate level? Advanced level? The sky is the limit.
The course I am taking has clearly paid off tremendously, and I’m not even 25% of the way through it yet.
I am also very happy about how things went with my wing. Before we met up, I was worried that I would be super awkward and that he would end up thinking I was basically a loser and then ditch me. We ended up hitting it off, and we made plans to meet up again the next time he’s in Vegas. Meeting up with him ended up being a great decision.
There is one thing that I feel guilty about as I reflect back on the night. About the girl I went on the two hour instant date with, I feel like I let her down. I am pretty confident that she wanted to have sex. Did I get her hopes up only to then let her down? I understand that just because I had a drink with someone and hung out with her for two hours that it doesn’t mean that I somehow owe her sex, and I would never come to feel entitled to it if the roles were reversed… but still, I feel like I let her down. She was out celebrating her 30th birthday after all, and I hope that she didn’t fly home the following night feeling disappointed about how things ended up transpiring that night.
As for my own feelings, I am mainly just excited about how much progress I made. I hit all sorts of new milestones in The Quest. First night out with a wingman? Check. First phone number? Check. First instant date? Check. First real physical contact of any kind? Check. Again, I am incredibly hyped about what the future has in store for me.
Things I did well:
I finally got into the rhythm of doing approach after approach without hesitation. I did so many that I couldn’t even keep track.
Asking for phone numbers. I hadn’t even asked for a single phone number before this night out, and by the end of it, it felt incredibly easy and not a big deal at all.
Bravely sailing into uncharted waters, so to speak. I had never been on an instant date before. This was my first date of any kind in several years. I handled it really well given how little I knew about what I was doing.
I totally hit it off with my wing.
Things to improve on:
Logistics. Logistics. Logistics. I need to start taking this seriously. I need to be prepared.
Better planning and communication with my wing(s) in future endeavors with wingmen. We need to plan out ahead of time what we will do if one of us goes on an instant date or more generally has the opportunity to pull.
No more jerking off! (emergency-level horniness exceptions may apply)
Better clothes. This one is going to take me a while, but I need to start putting together some decent outfits with better-fitting clothing. I am currently in the process of cutting weight, and thus I am reluctant to do a lot of shopping for clothes that probably won’t even fit anymore in a month.