Night Out #21: Honestly Quite Lame
Very little happened, but at least I got to play some cool arcade games
Welcome to The Nerd's Quest, my journey of learning how to meet and date women as a computer nerd on the autism spectrum.
This Week’s Mission
The mission (a part of the course I'm taking) was to use at least one teasing line per interaction. There were three different sources for these lines:
Memorized lines provided to us directly in the course
Memorized lines you created on your own
(Best) Lines you come up with organically on the spot
I needed to get in at least one teasing line per interaction, but ideally I would up the count if possible.
Night Out #21: Friday, February 18th, 2022
Tonight was my second night of trying out local bars instead of focusing on casino floor game.
Player 1 Bar
This is an arcade-themed bar that I had heard about. You pay a small cover fee ($5 in tonight’s case), but once you’re inside you can play the games as much as you want. The games don’t require you to put in any coins or anything, with the exception of pinball. So even if you keep dying over and over you can just keep continuing. Fun stuff.
I arrived just after 11 PM. I played some of the games, got a drink, and then played the games some more. The places was a little smaller than I had imagined. Most of the girls who were there were already in groups with guys. I saw a few girls by themselves wandering around the games but wasn’t sure how to go about approaching. I didn’t have a good feeling about the idea. There was also at least one opportunity that I should have gone for, a girl in a black leather jacket who was standing around by the bar, but I chickened out.
Eventually I saw what looked like a decent opportunity that wasn’t too scary. There was a girl sitting at a junction in the bar. She looked either really bored or totally exhausted. There was a space for me to stand next to her, so I went over and opened with a joking “you look like you’re having a total blast right now.”
I don’t remember exactly how she responded, but she took it literally and qualified a little by explaining that she wasn’t actually bored or something along those lines. We had a little bit of a back and forth, but it was hard to get her to engage much. She gave pretty short answers to my questions and didn’t give me much material to work with. I was able to get one of my teasing lines in thankfully, but it didn’t change the direction of the set.
At one point she told me that she was there with her two friends, a girl and a dude who were sitting next to her on the other side. I tried to say hi to them but they didn’t hear me or notice me. Awkward. I saw the female friend leaning over to look at me shortly thereafter, so she must have noticed me at some point.
Anyway, the interaction ended up falling back onto pointless get-to-know-you type questions, e.g. asking about where she was from, and then the interaction came to a quick standstill. I finished off what little remained of my drink, wished her a good night, and walked away.
I played a couple more games and looked around for more approach opportunities for a little while longer before giving up on the venue. The male:female ratio was pretty unfavorable. Many people were busy playing and thus not available to socialize with random strangers. I don’t think they would appreciate being interrupted in the middle of a game.
I had fun playing the games, but that’s not what I was there for. I’m sure I’ll head there again someday, maybe for reasons unrelated to The Quest, but for now I have other priorities in mind. Also it was disappointing that they didn’t have any of the Metal Slug games, as that has been my favorite arcade game ever since I was a little kid.
Millennium Fandom Bar
I saw this bar online and thought it sounded interesting. It was located close to Player 1, so I stopped here next. It ended up being way smaller than I had imagined, and there weren’t very many people inside. They had a bunch of cool nerd-themed stuff which gave it an interesting aesthetic. It had the typical social vibe of the local bar where everyone already knows each other, which is not what I expected. It wasn’t that far from The Strip, and I thought it would be a bit more touristy I guess.
I only noticed two girls there, and they were both already with dudes. I tried one of their specialty cocktails, but I didn’t stay very long. I talked a little with another nerdy looking dude who was sitting near me at the bar. He told me this place was a home away from home for nerds or something along those lines. I’m trying to get in the habit of engaging with more people in general as I go out, not just girls who I am approaching, and this was at least a step in that direction.
Anyways, as soon as I finished my drink I got up and left. I headed back to my car and browsed my phone, trying to figure out where to head to next.
Frankie's Tiki Room:
I saw that Frankie’s Tiki Room was not that far away. I remembered that one of the guys in the group of cousins on Night Out #20 had told me about this place. I thought I’d go check it out. It’s apparently like the original version of The Golden Tiki.
It was honestly pretty lame. I basically just sat there with a non-alcoholic drink (so I could stay sober enough to keep driving from venue to venue) and didn’t talk to anyone. At one point I saw a woman down at the other end of the bar who I theoretically could have approached, but I didn’t know how to go about it. I still don’t really understand how to socialize with people who aren’t already sitting right next to you at the kinds of bars where everyone is sitting in one big line. Do you just get up and walk down the bar to the person you want to talk to? This hasn’t been talked about in my course.
Anyway, I didn’t end up staying here very long, and I don’t think I’ll be going back. I went back to my car, pulled out my phone, and figured out where my next destination would be.
Bourbon Street Bar
I didn’t realize it until I pulled into the parking lot, but this place was the same arcade-themed bar that I briefly visited on Night Out #16. This place ended up being a huge waste of time. There were literally zero approach opportunities. I had another non-alcoholic drink and browsed Twitter on my phone for a little while before taking off. I have no intention of returning to this place. They don’t even have a good selection of arcade games. I guess there’s a couple pool tables, but other than that there’s nothing that would make me want to come back there.
Rang the Buzzer and No One Let Me In
Once again I sat in my car searching for my next destination on my phone. I saw that there was an interesting-looking bar that doubled as a pizza place nearby named Moondoggies bar and figured I’d grab a slice there and see if there was anyone to talk to.
The place ended up being kind of run-down and sketchy. The front door was locked, and there was a sign saying you had to press the buzzer and look up at the security camera. I pressed the buzzer and looked for the camera, but couldn’t find it. Nothing happened. I waited for a while and tried again. Still nothing. Eventually I realized the camera I was supposed to look at was way off to the side, so I pressed the buzzer yet again, this time looking straight at the camera.
Still nothing. No response. I gave up and went back to my car, where I decided on my next stop: The Tailgaiter Tavern. It was nearby and supposedly open 24/7.
This exact same thing ended up playing out again at this tavern, except this time they didn’t have a camera to look at. I walked up to the front door and rang the buzzer. Nothing happened. The door was still locked. I waited for a while. I rang the buzzer again. Nothing happened. The door was still locked. I stood there for a while and gave it a final try. I rang the buzzer. Nothing happened. The door was still locked.
I gave up in frustration and went back to my car. Was I not waiting long enough? How long are you supposed to wait in this situation before giving up? Am I supposed to start pounding on the door or something? I never do stuff like that because it feels like I’m being an impatient asshole. Maybe the doormen at both places coincidentally happened to be on bathroom breaks when I showed up? Who knows.
The Golden Tiki
It was getting pretty late, so I figured my last stop might as well be a place I knew would actually let me in: The Golden Tiki. This would be my third time here.
It had been a few hours since I had any real alcohol, so I started drinking again. For the most part I just sat there keeping to myself, but I periodically looked around the bar to see if I could find any approach opportunities or even just someone to talk to. At one point I went out back to the smoking area and had like a 10 second conversation with some guy before he went off to his car. Other than the bartender and a bathroom attendant, this guy was the only person I spoke to there.
I ended up sitting at the bar for quite a while. I’m trying to squeeze the most out of my weekends, and so I don’t like to throw the towel in and call it a night before 4 AM. So I basically just continued to sit there and sip my drinks, checking the Twitter timeline now and then. I finally got up and left shortly after 4 AM.
Final Thoughts
This was clearly one of my lamest nights in a long time. I only did one approach. I barely spoke to anyone. I spent a lot of time bouncing from venue to venue. I didn’t feel very good about myself, either.
Playing the arcade games at Player 1 ended up being the highlight of my night, but again, that’s not why I’m going out.
From a purely results-driven standpoint, tonight was just a waste of time. These are not the right types of venues for doing lots of approaches, which is what I need right now. These local bars are definitely worse than casino floor game, meaning I’m moving in the wrong direction when it comes to venue selection. It’s time to start hitting up the real nightclubs. I cannot put this off any longer.
Emotionally speaking, I fell back into a negative state tonight. It was similar to what happened to me on Night Out #19 when I got stuck in a negative thought-loop surrounding the negative feedback I received on Twitter and related subjects. It wasn’t just about that, but also a general feeling of the world being against me, feeling unwanted, unloved, and so on.
But none of this is going to keep me down, so don’t worry. I’ve got this.
Things I did well:
Getting out there and at least showing up. That has to count for something, right?
Feeling out different types of venues and getting a sense for what kinds of venues are worth my time and which kinds are not
The approach I did at Player 1 was the first ever approach I did in a local bar
Things to improve on:
I wrote this last time, but it’s worth repeating: I should be engaging people everywhere I go. Not just women, but men too. When I’m out, I should be the guy going around randomly talking to everyone.
Venue selection. Tonight made it clear to me that these local bars just aren’t worth going to when it comes to my goals. There just aren’t enough unaccompanied women around to make it worth it.
Approach anxiety. It’s the ugly beast that rears its head again and again, but there were at least a couple approach opportunities I shied away from that I shouldn’t have back at Player 1