Welcome to The Nerd's Quest, my journey of learning how to meet and date women as a computer nerd on the autism spectrum.
This Week’s Mission
Over the past two weeks I unfortunately fell behind in my course, so instead of just doing another night of the same mission as the previous several Nights Out, I decided to create my own mission. It was a simple one: try to have some sets that actually last a little while, not just blowouts where the whole interaction ends in less than 30 seconds.
Night Out #30: Saturday, April 2nd, 2022
I finally developed the courage to try out another fancy nightclub. I decided on Hakkasan, the club inside the MGM Grand. This would be my first time going to a fancy nightclub on an actual weekend night as opposed to a Sunday. I dressed in the most formal outfit I own, including a new pair of leather dress shoes.
I parked across the street at The Tropicana and got in the general admission line for Hakkasan at around 11 PM. I thought it was going to be a super long wait based on how long the line looked, but it only took me about ten minutes to get inside. I was pleasantly surprised by how short the wait was. I had to pay about a $60 cover to get in.
Trying Out Hakkasan
Once I got inside, I did my typical loop of the venue and scoped the place out.
The club was split into two different levels: a lower level and an upper level. The lower level contained the main dance floor, while the upper level was basically a wide balcony that looked down over it.
My impression of the place? First of all, it was way too loud, like even for a Las Vegas nightclub it seemed way louder than it needed to be. It also felt very crowded and cramped, especially down on the lower level. For example, in order to get to the actual dance floor you would have had to push through a sea of people who were also trying to get to the dance floor. It would have been quite difficult, and once you got there, it would be so crowded that you’d barely be able to move anyways.
Additionally, there was no outdoor smoking area. The rule was that you could just smoke inside wherever you wanted. It’s kind of surprising that this is still legal, but hey, that’s Las Vegas for you. I don’t actually care about smoking, but I was hoping that there would be some kind of outdoor smoking area that I could hang out at to escape from the loud music and the crowds. Unfortunately, such an area did not exist.
I ended up spending most of the next hour leaning up against the outer perimeter wall and people watching. I felt very uncomfortable in this environment. It felt like I was out of place, like I didn’t belong there. I was lacking in confidence. In general, my inner game was not good at all. I was not in a good state, and this was reflected in my actions. Still, I managed to get three approaches in before I left.
My first approach was with two girls who were dancing together over by a corner in the upper level, away from the crowd. I opened by asking them why they were off in the corner or something along those lines. They basically just shrugged, and we started making some small talk. One of the two was significantly older than the other, and I found out that the two of them were in Vegas to celebrate her daughter’s birthday.
It’s surprising that I was able to even get this far with the small talk. It was super hard to hear anything anyone was saying, even when directly speaking into someone’s ear. We sort of danced together in a circle for a little bit, including to that Soulja Boy song (you know the one).
I wasn’t dancing very confidently, it was kind of a half-assed attempt at dancing looking back on it. I just didn’t believe in myself, and it showed. I told the younger of the pair that she was a good dancer. I said that I sucked and that she should teach me. She just laughed in response but didn’t say anything.
I was speaking in small sound bites because of how loud it was, but it was still a struggle. Talking felt almost impossible. That’s definitely a problem when you’re taking a course that is literally called VERBAL Game Academy, and what you’re learning about involves talking to people for significant lengths of time. It requires you to be able to have deeper conversations than just surface level small talk. None of that felt possible in this set, and I didn’t know what else to do, so I just waved goodbye to the two girls and left.
In theory, what you’re supposed to do in very loud settings is to first establish at least a small connection with the girl. You have to speak loudly and in small, simple sound bites to be heard. Then you ask the her to come to a quieter part of the club with you where it’s easier to hear each other. Often times, taking her to the bar to get a drink is a way of accomplishing this. You can also use physicality to communicate, including escalation. So it’s not just about the verbals. However, I still have no idea what I’m doing in with respect to physicality, so that wasn’t really an option for me.
Neither of my next two approaches went anywhere. In one, I asked a girl what she was drinking. In the other, I asked a girl why she was hanging out by herself. These weren’t very good openers, and they weren’t well-delivered on my part. I was still not feeling comfortable with myself in that environment, and it showed. Neither of these two interactions lasted for more than a few seconds.
I left after being inside for about an hour. I ended up spending a little over $100 between the $60 cover and two $20 drinks for myself. That was a lot of money for such a short period of time.
It is no wonder that I saw a reddit post where a well-known Las Vegas PUA mentioned that Hakkasan was too loud and cramped for his tastes. Now I understand. He was totally right. I will probably never come back here.
I still like the idea of trying to do approaches right outside of the club. It’s common to see hot girls standing around nearby, sitting on the ledges against the walls, or walking from the club towards the main casino floor area. Imagining it reminds me of fond memories earlier on in The Quest, so I will probably do that again someday. It’s a very specific situation where casino floor game might still be worth trying.
Driving Across Town to Gold Spike
I was relieved when I got out of there. However, it was now around midnight and I had no plan for the rest of my night. What was the most high value use of my time at that moment?
I decided the best idea was to go to Gold Spike even though it was in a different part of town and I would have to waste time a bunch of time getting there. I would have to go back to my car at The Tropicana and then drive to one of the parking areas in Downtown Las Vegas, at least twenty minutes away. Even with all that taken into account, I believed this would be the best use of the rest of my time.
I was wearing my most formal outfit, which meant that I was definitely overdressed for Gold Spike, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.
When I got there, I saw that the line was the longest that I had ever seen it. It was roughly 12:38 AM when I got in line, and I ended up waiting nearly an hour. This was by far the longest I’ve waited in line for any nightclubs so far.
It was around 1:30 AM when I finally got in. It was unfortunate that I had wasted so much of my night already, but from this point forward I was able to make good use of my time, so it worked out.
The Chris Rock Girl
I went to the bathroom right after I got in and then approached two girls hanging out by a table outside almost immediately afterwards.
I used the “on a scale of 1-10, how important is this conversation?” opener. It was very well-received. One of the girls seemed particularly intrigued by me. I decided to focus on her as the target. Before long, she started making references to whole Chris Rock-Will Smith slapping incident. We’ll call her the Chris Rock Girl given her particular fascination with this subject. She really couldn’t stop talking about it.
At one point she starting filming her friend as her friend shook her ass. I started teasing her about it, and she told me to get in there with her friend. I said that I didn’t know how to dance. I was also unsure if her friend would be okay with me suddenly trying to grind with her, which made me hesitant to just jump in there and start doing it. Just because she wanted me to doesn’t mean her friend would be on board with the idea. So I kept hesitating and make excuses not to jump in.
Eventually she decided she would just film me on my own, and for whatever reason I went along with this despite not really wanting to and being uncomfortable with the whole idea. So that is how I found myself trying to shake my ass and twerk as she yelled out directions and filmed me. So now there is a video out there of me trying to twerk. I was really bad at it. I apologize in advance if this video ends up on the internet and you end up stumbling across it.
Anyway, eventually the filming of ass shaking stopped, and the interaction continued basically where it left off: her talking about Chris Rock, Will Smith, and the slap.
At one point she and her friend ended up deciding to move elsewhere and started walking through the crowd. From what I remember, I asked them where they were going and they said they were going over to the bar or something. I wasn’t sure if this meant the set was over or if I should follow them and try to keep the interaction going.
I decided to follow them as they snaked their way through the crowd, which was a good call on my part because the conversation with the target girl resumed once we got to the other side. I ended up buying a round of drinks for her and myself. Her friend had kind of wandered away at this point and was talking with some other people, so it was just me and her. She was still talking almost nonstop about the slap. She was basically monologuing about it, and it was hard for me to get a word in.
As we talked, she was touching me a lot. She kept putting her hands on my chest and shoulders. She couldn’t keep her hands off me. I teased her about it when there was finally a pause in her nonstop monologuing.
Eventually her friend wandered back over. She was like “wow, you two are STILL talking about the Chris Rock thing?!” I could tell that the friend was getting pretty bored, and I felt it was probably best to just go for a number close. I exchanged phone numbers with the target. We joked about how I was going to take her out for lunch or dinner sometime. She seemed like she was really into me.
I wished her and her friend a goodnight and then we parted ways. I thought this set went exceptionally well, though I really shouldn’t have given into the pressure and twerked on camera when I didn’t particularly want to.
The Bridal Group Girl
I saw a woman wearing a small bridal veil standing over by the interactive lights. I asked her if she was getting married, she told me that she would be soon and that she was in Vegas for a bachelorette party/vacation with her bridesmaids. I didn’t consider this an approach (I wouldn’t be trying to pick up a soon-to-be-bride) but rather just making casual conversation with people as I went about my night.
Later that night, I was sitting on one of the couches inside and taking a little break when two other random guys asked if they could sit there with me. I replied in the affirmative, and they ended up hanging out with me for a while. They had a hookah that they ended up sharing with me. After a little bit, they both got up to go to the bathroom or something, but they were planning on coming back.
While they were gone, a girl came over and asked if she could sit on one of the other chairs next to the couch I was on. She was probably in her mid-thirties or so. I told her it was fine, and then shortly thereafter the other two guys came back. We all sat there together and talked for a bit. For whatever reason, the two guys decided to tell the girl that they were visiting from Spain, but then later they told me that they were actually locals and made the whole thing up. Weird, but okay.
Eventually the two guys got up to leave, and one of them asked to exchange numbers with me. He knew I was also a local and suggested we go out clubbing sometime or something. After they left, it was just me and the girl sitting next to each other on the couch. We kept talking, and soon I found out that she was a part of the same bridal party as the woman with the veil I had briefly talked to earlier.
She ended up bringing the rest of her group over to sit with us. Her friends looked totally exhausted and already partied out for the night. I only briefly talked with the friends as it was too loud to comfortably talk unless you were sitting right next to someone. So I ended up mostly just talking with the girl I had already been sitting with.
Eventually she and her friend group decided it was time to leave and head back to their hotel. Before they left, I asked her if she wanted to keep hanging out later, just the two of us, and we exchanged numbers. Then they left the club.
Two More Noteworthy Sets
There were a few more sets that were noteworthy, in addition to several approaches that didn’t go anywhere that I won’t bother to detail.
There was a girl sitting by the bar and watching her friends playing a giant game of Connect 4 that is located on one of the walls inside the club. I opened with something along the lines of how I liked running into other nerds at the club, which is an opener that I have come to really like.
It has the format of a push-pull: there’s a positive aspect and a negative aspect. It’s positive in the sense that I am telling her that I am glad that I ran into her, negative in the sense that being a nerd is not always seen as a positive and could be interpreted as a negative. The hope is that this mixture of positive and negative will intrigue her and encourage her to continue the interaction and find out more.
The opener was well-received, and we chatted for a bit. I found out that she was from out of state and just visiting for the weekend. Once her friends finished up the game of Connect 4, it felt like the right moment for me to leave, but I still went for a number close. She gave me her number, and I was happy with how the interaction went. It was probably a bit too platonic in nature and not man-to-woman enough, but I think I still handled it fairly well.
The next noteworthy set was with a pair of girls who were sitting at one of the tables inside. I opened by asking them about their opinion about the whole Chris Rock-Will Smith slap. I got this idea for an opener from the girl earlier that night who wouldn’t stop talking about it. I love it when girls give me ideas for material to use in future sets. I figured this would be a great opinion opener for the time being, at least until the slap becomes old news and people grow bored of hearing about it.
The opener was well-received, and I was in an engaged conversation with the both of them about their opinions on the whole slap debacle. They were both supportive of Will Smith’s actions. I started to focus more on the girl on the left, but then she ended up getting distracted by some other dudes who came over, and so I switched to focus more on the girl on the right.
I don’t remember how we got onto the next topic, but we started talking about grinding. I said that I didn’t know how, and the girl told me to come over to her side of the table. We ended up grinding together a lot. This was the most intense grinding that I have participated in up to this point. She took my hands and placed them on her body. Her ass was all up in my business, so to speak. I thought it was great.
Eventually we stopped grinding. I don’t remember exactly how the set ended, but I got her number shortly after we finished the grinding and then bounced.
I left the club shortly afterwards. It a little after 4 AM, and it felt like the right time to go. Given that I didn’t get in until around 1:30 AM, this means that I was only there for about 2.5 hours. And what a productive 2.5 hours it ended up being! Also I think that being overdressed by Gold Spike standards actually worked in my favor, as I received several compliments on my outfit throughout the night.
But the Night Wasn’t Over Yet!
I got back to my car and then sent a text to the bridal group girl from earlier. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get a response, and so I sat in my car and listened to a few songs just in case she responded quickly before ultimately starting the drive back.
It wasn’t until shortly after I started driving that I received a text back. I pulled over and sent a follow up asking her if she wanted to chill back at my place or something along those lines (this was a mistake). She replied saying that she wanted to stay out. In my next text I asked her where she wanted to go (this was another mistake). She replied saying that she wanted to hang out at the hotel/casino she was staying at, which was located on The Strip.
We agreed that we would meet up there, and so I drove over, parked in a massive parking garage, and then walked over to the casino floor. I ended up having to wait for her for a bit, but eventually we met back up again.
I suggested we go to one of the casino bars, but she really wanted to play slots. She said that one of the waitresses would come over and take her drink order, and thus we didn’t have to go to the bar to get drinks.
So that is how I ended up sitting on the slot machine next to her watching her play. I put a $1 bill in the one I was sitting at, but lost it very quickly. I didn’t gamble any more after that. In her case, she had a big win early on. I’m not sure how much she put in her machine initially, but I think it was no more than $40. I saw her run that amount up to over $200 on this machine before cashing out. While this was happening, one of the waitresses actually did come over and take her drink order. I could have ordered something as well, but I chose not to. I wasn’t feeling it.
Anyway, after cashing out, she decided to try out a few more slot machines. Here is where things started going downhill for her. She started consistently losing on these other slot machines. I was politely encouraging her to just take the money she had already won and leave it at that. I had multiple reasons for doing this. First, just sitting next to her while she plays the slots was simply not good game. The interaction was not moving forward in a good direction. Secondly, even setting all that aside, she legitimately needed to just take the money and run or she was clearly going to give it all back to the casino and then some.
She kept insisting on continuing to gamble. She also tried to convince me to go 50-50 with her on a new machine, e.g. she puts in $20, I put in $20, and then we evenly split whatever winnings we end up with from that machine. I kept declining on any more gambling with my own money, which she was not happy about.
I was getting very tired. It was well after 5 AM by now. I didn’t really have much to say, and so I mostly just sat there silently and made an occasional comment when she’d win a little or when something unique happened on her machine. And sure enough, I saw her give every single dollar that she had previously won back to the casino, plus some more money that she put in.
After losing it all, she again started trying to convince me to gamble some more. She wanted me to put in a $20 bill into one of the machines. I kept declining and said something like “This is why I don’t gamble! I just saw you lose all that money!” She just blamed it on the machine she had previously been playing on and kept trying to convince me. I held my ground and didn’t give in. I should at least give myself some props for this, because a younger version of myself might have caved and put in a $20 bill despite really not wanting to. I’m glad that I didn’t.
This girl might have been an actual gambling addict or something. She mentioned that she liked to play slots back in her home state too, not just in Las Vegas. Yikes. I don’t even want to think about how much money she has probably lost over the years.
At this point, the vibe of the interaction had become pretty damn bad. Finally she gave up on trying to convince me to gamble and was like “alright, I’m just going back to the room then” in a clearly annoyed tone. I wished her a goodnight and left. It was now after 6 AM. I was tired as fuck and mainly just wanted to go home and sleep. I had been watching her play slots for around an hour probably. I wasn’t about to try and invite myself up to her hotel room at this point given the bad vibe and how tired I was. I also wasn’t sure if she had her own room or if she was sharing it.
I walked out of the casino at about 6:20 AM. It was now broad daylight outside. And thus, my latest Night Out so far came to a close. There’s something special about driving home in the early morning light after a long night of partying, especially given the great views I get of the mountains surrounding Las Vegas. It’s a magical feeling. So even with how the night ended, I felt great.
Reflecting on This Interaction
Even though the interaction didn’t end particularly well, it was packed full of lessons and learning experiences.
I shouldn’t have asked her so directly if she wanted to chill back at my place. This is really bad phrasing when it comes to pulling, as it has sex written all over it. I should have phrased things in a way sounded less like I was asking her if she wanted to have sex. Ideally, there would be some other plausible non-sexual reason for us to go back to my place. Additionally, my instructor warned against using the phrases “my place” or “your place” as there is too much of a built-in connotation of sex with these phrases. So I should have avoided the phrase “my place” entirely.
I shouldn’t have asked her where she wanted to hang out after she said that she wanted to stay out. I should have suggested a venue rather than asking her, ideally a venue that was like a midpoint between where she was staying and my place. In retrospect, I think The Golden Tiki would have been the perfect place to suggest for this.
I should have inquired more specifically about her logistics regarding her hotel room situation early on after meeting back up with her. I wasn’t completely sure if she had her own room or if she was sharing it with some of her group. I think she was sharing it, but I am not entirely sure. Regardless, this was an opportunity for me to practice finding out the specifics of her logistics, and I should have taken the opportunity to at least try.
Final Thoughts
This was one of my most successful nights so far. There is a lot that I should be proud of myself for.
I got phone numbers from four different girls, I did some intense grinding with one, I had a variety of engaged sets, and I met up with the bridal group girl again later in the night. By my standards, those are some great results.
When I got to Gold Spike, I did a good job of socializing with the random people around me as I went about my night rather than just only doing approaches. This is something that I have mentioned as an area where I need improvement, and I delivered on that tonight.
I got some more practice in with the “late game” as I call it. I’m referring to the set with the bridal group girl. It’s pretty rare that I get that far in an interaction, far enough where pulling becomes a very realistic possibility. There is still a lot that I have to learn about the late game, but just getting that far is something worth being proud of given that I usually can’t keep an interaction going for that long. Additionally, I haven’t gotten to the section in the course that is about pulling, so I am ahead of the pace of my course, which is another thing to be proud of.
Also, this was actually my first real time meeting up with a girl a second time. Prior to tonight, I had yet to actually translate any of the contact info I had been given into second meetings, not counting Mona all the way back on Night Out #18, the girl who didn’t tell me she was a sex worker at first and then also got me confused with someone else when I texted her.
Another takeaway from tonight: just because a club is fancier does not mean it’s actually better for game. I had much better results at Gold Spike than at Hakkasan, despite Gold Spike being very much a non-fancy club and Hakkasan being at the other end of the spectrum of fanciness. Despite the fanciness, I don’t see myself ever going back to Hakkasan again, with maybe an exception for situations where I’m out with a group that really wants to go there.
However, I still need to keep trying out new venues. I cannot become complacent and only go to one venue all the time. It would be very detrimental in the long run if I became super overdependent on Gold Spike and didn’t have any other venues that I felt comfortable with. So I need to keep trying out new clubs and finding out which ones suit me and which ones do not.
Things I did well:
Trying out a fancy club on a weekend. I find the idea of trying to get into one of these fancy clubs intimidating in general, but particularly so on a Friday or Saturday night when things are at their busiest.
Really going for it during those last 2.5 hours at Gold Spike. In retrospect, I am super impressed with myself for squeezing so much out of a relatively short period of time.
Getting into multiple sets where the girl was really engaged with the interaction. It’s not an easy thing to pull off, and the fact that I was able to do this in four different sets throughout the night is really impressive (by my standards at least).
Getting to practice the late game. As I mentioned earlier, it is rare that I get that far in an interaction, and so when I do manage to get to the late game, it is a very valuable learning experience. It’s like exploring waters that are still mostly uncharted.
Things to improve on:
My inner game when I was at Hakkasan. I felt so out of place and uncomfortable there, which led to massive approach anxiety. This approach anxiety mostly dissipated once I got to Gold Spike. Even though I’ve decided I don’t like Hakkasan, I still could have done better while I was there if my inner game wasn’t so bad.
Finding out a girl’s logistics. With the bridal group girl, I should have at least inquired about her hotel room situation and found out if she had her own room or if she was sharing one.
How to go about pulling. I didn’t really know what to say when it came to trying to pull the bridal group girl. My texts were really bad, and once we met back up in person and she started playing the slots, I didn’t put any serious attempts forth.
Not supplicating. I didn’t really want to try to twerk for the Chris Rock girl. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea. Yet I let myself get pressured into it. Doing something that you’re clearly uncomfortable with just because someone else is pressuring you is like the textbook definition of supplicating, and supplicating is bad game. I’m glad that I didn’t supplicate further when it came to the bridal group girl trying to pressure me into gambling, but I’ll still mention this point as it’s a lesson worth remembering.