Night Out #34: Escalation in XS

I venture into one of the fanciest nightclubs in all of Las Vegas

Welcome to The Nerd's Quest, my journey of learning how to meet and date women as a computer nerd on the autism spectrum.

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This Week’s Mission

This is a continuation of the same mission from the previous night out.

This week’s mission (a part of the course I'm taking) was about escalation (finally!).

I had to create my own “escalation ladder”, basically a series of five physical moves that gradually escalate the interaction physically.

These need to be in order of what I feel most comfortable doing to what I feel least comfortable doing.

Here’s the ladder I came up with:

1. Hand on her shoulder

2. Hand on her waist (maybe while leaning in to talk into her ear)

3. A hug or an arm around her shoulder where I’m bringing her in closer to me

4. “Body rocking”, kind of like cuddling while standing up, or grinding on the dance floor

5. Kiss

Last but certainly not least, I had to actually go out and try to do these moves in order while in set.

Night Out #34: Sunday, April 10th, 2022

Finally I mustered up the courage to check out XS, a fancy nightclub located inside of the upscale Encore casino. I wore my fanciest outfit. I had heard a lot about this place. Specifically, I had heard it was one of the best places in Las Vegas to do game.

I was in line right around the time the club opened and got inside pretty quickly. I had to pay something like $65 to get in. It was now a little before 11 PM. I walked inside and started taking in all the new sights and sounds. The interior was definitely more luxurious than any other club I had been to before.

The luxurious interior of XS

How Embarrassing

As I was walking, I felt something a bit odd in one of my pant legs. It felt like there was something soft pressing against the backside of my knee. I reached down and patted it, and it definitely felt like something was in there, though I wasn’t sure what.

I decided to go straight to the restroom to check it out. I went into one of the stalls, put my foot on the toilet seat, pulled up my pant leg a bit, and then reached under to try to feel whatever it was. I ended up pulling out a sock. That sock must have gotten in there when I did my laundry, and it was stuck in there the entire time! This is exactly the kind of stupid, clothing-challenged shit that would happen to me.

I think when the security guard patted me down that it dislodged the sock, which is why I hadn’t felt it at all prior to that point. Thank goodness the security guard didn’t notice it, because holy shit that would have been so embarrassing if they felt it and then I had to pull out this random sock in front of them. Also there’s a good chance they would have assumed I was trying to sneak something in and kicked me out. So I really dodged a bullet there.

But now I was standing there in a bathroom stall, sock in hand, trying to figure out what to do with it. I tried putting it in my pocket, but that resulted in this huge bulge in my pocket (and not the sexy kind) that looked really weird and felt uncomfortable. I decided that it wasn’t worth messing my night up over a single sock, so I just left it on a little ledge in the stall and went back out.

The club had just opened and was still pretty empty. I also discovered that the outdoor pool area of the club was closed for the night, I’m assuming because it was a Sunday and thus they were expecting a smaller crowd.

I saw these two dudes who looked about my age standing off to the side. One of them was dressed like the character Gordan Gekko from the 1987 movie Wall Street. I told him that I liked his outfit, and I was surprised to find out that he had no idea who Gordon Gekko was and just liked the outfit. Interesting!

I just randomly chatted with these two guys for a while. It really hammered in the idea that talking to random people is a great way to get the night going, especially when you are waiting for a club to fill up. Standing around awkwardly by yourself is such a mood killer by comparison.

Eventually they said they had to go to the bathroom but then never came back. I was fine with that, I had probably overstayed my welcome anyways. At least the awkward early part of the night where the club is still quiet and empty was now basically over, and I was ready to start doing approaches.

Getting Adjusted

My first several approaches were pretty timid in nature. It was like I was sticking my toe into cold water and then quickly pulling it back out instead of just jumping in and getting the worst part over with.

Still, there were a few of these early approaches that are worth mentioning.

I saw a very attractive woman standing by herself. She easily could have been a model. I had noticed her a few times throughout the night. Now seemed like the perfect time to do an approach.

Unfortunately, when I tried to talk to her, she told me (in a heavy foreign accent) that she was from Brazil and didn’t speak any English. I nodded and wished her a good night.

Looking back on it, I probably should have at least tried to use Google Translate to talk to her a bit more, though then again it would have been tough to use it effectively with all the noise in the club.

Next, I tried to talk to a group of three girls who were sitting down on a little ledge near the middle of the club, but they kept saying they couldn’t hear me. I just gave up on that one. I couldn’t get myself to speak loudly enough to speak across the distance.

Also there was another early approach worth mentioning. Something that I totally didn’t expect to happen that night, happened that night. I saw a young woman standing at the end of the bar by herself. I walked over and tried to start up a polite conversation. She quickly told me that she was actually a sex worker. I don’t remember exactly how she phrased it, but it was absolutely clear that she was.

I didn’t think that sex workers actually went inside the fancy nightclubs! Maybe she was able to get inside for free? I don’t think she was making it up, either. I can’t imagine a civilian woman pretending to be a sex worker so nonchalantly, with the rampant whorephobia in our society and whatnot. So anyway, that interaction ended very quickly and with me very surprised.

The Set That Mattered — Part 1

I noticed a group of girls that was dancing to my left. One of them moved to a spot right by me, close enough for me to open from where I was standing. I complimented her on her outfit. She was a young woman wearing a colorful and cute dress. She was of an East Asian ethnic background, and she looked like she was in her mid-twenties.

She was very receptive! We started chatting. I found out a few details about her, like where she was from. I used a teasing line about how she looked so innocent and adorable, but also like she was trouble. She took it very literally and started qualifying herself. I put my hand on her shoulder here and told her that it was okay. First step of the escalation ladder done!

We talked for a little bit more. I found out that she was a graduate student and that she was in town with her sister and some friends. I introduced myself to one of her friends who was dancing nearby. I also noticed that one of the other girls in the group was a girl I had approached earlier, but it hadn’t gone anywhere.

Before long, her friends decided to go to a different area. I waved goodbye as they whisked her away and said that I might see her later.

The Set That Mattered — Part 2

Some time had passed. I had done some more approaches, but none that went anywhere.

I was standing in a different part of the club and surveying the scene. I noticed that same young woman from earlier and her friend I had introduced myself to were about to walk right past me.

I waved and greeted her as they passed. She was excited to see me again, though her friend (who I later found out was actually her sister) didn’t seem so enthusiastic about it. We immediately got back into conversation again, picking things up right where they left off before.

As we talked, I accidentally mixed up where she was from with what another girl had told me, oops! At least the other place was still within the same general geographic area. Either way it didn’t matter, she was still very hooked into the set and before long she took my hand and led me to the dance floor.

We started dancing together. We were dancing in a very intimate way, like the “body rocking” I described in my escalation ladder. We were gazing into each other’s eyes and smiling. It was so loud that we had to lean forward and talk into each other’s ears. This gave me plenty of opportunities to brush her hair behind her ear and do things like that, which she was very receptive to. So in a very short period of time I was able to get through steps 2-4 on my escalation ladder. Only going for a kiss remained.

After a while on the dance floor, I decided to do a venue change within the club to one of the bars located along the outer perimeter. It seemed like the right move, as it would allow us to have a more intimate interaction than would be possible on the dance floor. So I led her over to the bar and asked her what she wanted to drink. She just kind of shrugged and wanted me to decide. I was a little unsure if I should order her another alcoholic drink given that she seemed to have been drinking a lot already, but I wasn’t sure what else to order, so I just went with my go-to drink for us both: a rum and coke.

The whole time we were at the bar, we were gazing into each other’s eyes some more. It was like she was mesmerized by my charm. We were barely saying anything to each other, there was no need to. We were having an intimate moment together, just gazing together and smiling.

So now we were standing near the bar and sipping our drinks. Some of her friends actually came over and asked her to come back with them, but she shook her head and shooed them off without me even saying anything. Wow. She was totally hooked and didn’t want the interaction to end. We ended up heading back onto the dance floor.

We were dancing in that same intimate way as earlier. She kept leaning forward to talk into my ear and tell me that she liked me and she thought I was cute. She also kept stroking my chest through the unbuttoned top of my shirt. Things were going better than I could have possibly hoped for when I first approached. I figured it was time to go for a kiss.

I leaned in to go for the kiss, but she thought I was trying to talk into her ear again, so she turned her head to the side. Oops. I didn’t really know what to do so I just said something random. This same cycle repeated a few times over the next several minutes. Finally, when I leaned in and she turned her ear towards me, I kissed her on the cheek. She was totally non-responsive to it. I wasn’t even sure that she had noticed it. So we just kept dancing.

The tension was still building. She was caressing my face. I took off my glasses and her eyes lit up. She started caressing my face even more. I teased her about how she couldn’t keep her hands off me. Our faces were getting closer and closer.

Eventually I did actually kiss her. It just ended up being a quick peck on the lips. Her face was totally non-responsive to it for a few seconds, and then she sheepishly smiled and shook her head. The vibe of the interaction didn’t change. She was still really into me. We kept dancing.

After a while, the tension started building back up again. She was looking directly into my eyes. She told me again that she really liked me. I told her that she was sexy. This made her giddy with excitement. Again, our faces were getting closer and closer.

The air was thick with tension, but I didn’t think I should go for another kiss the way I had earlier. I was worried that would have been too pushy. So I leaned in and asked her if she wanted to make out. Is this good game? Probably not, but I didn’t know what else to do at this point.

She looked at me and thought for a moment, and then just shook her head and said no, with a smile. But we kept dancing, and still the seductive mood and the tension remained. Again she spoke into my ear and told me that she really liked me, and I told her again that she was sexy. We were both still enjoying the moment.

We kept on dancing for a while, but I was unsure about what to do next. I seemed to have hit a wall when it came to physical escalation. I didn’t want to be pushy and keep trying to go further and further after her explicitly rejecting the idea.

More and more I started to accept that it was time to leave the set. I didn’t want to given how rare and special this experience felt, but it was clear that this was as far as things would progress, and the night wasn’t quite yet over. It was also becoming increasingly clear that the drinks were hitting her hard, which was worrying me. Still, I was having difficulty getting myself to actually leave.

Eventually I decided to lead her away from the dance floor. I wasn’t even entirely sure where we were going to go next. But ultimately, that didn’t matter.

In order to leave the dance floor, we had to go up several steps, maybe 3 or 4. Not very many. The drinks must have been hitting her quite hard indeed, because she didn’t make it up the stairs. She tripped and ended up kind of sprawled out on the ground. I tried to help her back up to her feet, and she got up slowly and we made it up the stairs.

A bouncer walked over and told us that we needed to leave. I wasn’t surprised. Getting so drunk that you hit the floor seems to be a red line at these clubs. If you cross that line, you get kicked out. I told the bouncer that we were trying to find her friends, and the bouncer nodded and walked off.

I needed to find this girl’s sister. Thankfully, we found her pretty quickly near the back of the club. I tried to explain to the sister that she was really drunk and convey what the bouncer told us, but the sister was just like “yeah yeah I got it” basically and waved me off. Oh well. That was an anti-climactic ending to what was otherwise one of my best sets ever.

Rest of the Night

I slowly looped around the club a few times, doing a few more approaches that didn’t go anywhere.

I decided to go kill some time on the dance floor. I was basically just standing by myself rocking back and forth while holding my drink. I figured I’d spend some time here and then do another loop of the club and see if there were any new approach opportunities.

After a little while I noticed a cute girl who was dancing near me. We ended up facing each other, and I asked her if she wanted to dance. She smiled, shook her head, and said no. Then she turned around. Oh well.

I went into a restroom stall and started sending a drunk text message to my vibecamp lover. Yes, she is back in the picture!

Over the past few weeks we started DMing again, and one thing led to another. Now she’s coming here to visit me soon. I’ve been going out so much lately so that I can finish my course before she gets here. She knows about this and is encouraging me in doing so. I will have much more to write about all of this soon.

I got back out of the restroom and started making my way around the club again. All of a sudden a single-file line of cocktail waitresses holding large sparklers came out and started cheering. They started to make their way down towards the center of the dance floor. One of them in the back was waving a giant flag. It was hard to see what kind of flag it was at first given the darkness and the colored lights.

Eventually I figured it out. It was the flag of India! I laughed. Now that I was thinking about it, I had noticed a lot of people of Indian descent in the club that night, including a few Sikhs. I wonder what they were celebrating?

I killed a little more time on the dance floor, but by now it was around 3 AM and the club was getting very dead. I decided to just call it at 3:10 and left. There were a few approach opportunities I saw on the way out of the club that I probably should have taken up, but I didn’t for whatever reason. I didn’t have the energy to come up with anything to say.

I walked over to the Treasure Island to get some pizza and sober up a bit before heading home. I was feeling great about how my night went. I was feeling great about how my life was going in general.

Final Thoughts

Wow. The set that mattered was one of those sets that will go in the annals of The Quest. I’ve never had a girl be so clearly and openly into me like that on one of these Night Outs before.

There were still plenty of things I could have done better. In particular, my performance earlier in the night could have been much better. I should have committed more instead of being so timid and bracing for rejections. However, this was my first night at this club, and still only my third time going to what I consider a “fancy” club here in Vegas. So I should be a little easy on myself too, as I was adjusting to a new environment, and I think I did a good job of that.

I need to come here more often, that’s for sure. This was on a Sunday night too, and the entire outdoor area was closed off. I’m looking forward to finding out what this place is like on a Friday or Saturday. I could see XS becoming my favorite venue.

Overall, I am very proud of the progress that I have been making. The fact that I’ve been going out so often has clearly been paying off, as the improvement in my skill level has been undeniable.

Things I did well

• Going through the entire escalation ladder

• Knowing when to give up on the set, not being too pushy

• Adjusting to a new environment fairly quickly and getting a lot of approaches in

Things to improve on:

• Committing to approaches instead of being so timid. To use that same analogy from earlier, I need to jump into the cold water instead of sticking my toe in and quickly pulling it back out.