Nights Out #14 and #15: A Cold and Uneventful Weekend
This was the coldest weekend since I moved to Las Vegas
Welcome to The Nerd's Quest, my journey of learning how to meet and date women as a computer nerd on the autism spectrum.
Update on the Previous Weekend
My plans with the girl I met last weekend fell through unfortunately. We didn’t end up meeting up on Saturday night like we had planned. It was a shame as I had been both eagerly and nervously anticipating it all day. She told me she’d get back to me a bit after 11 PM but never did.
I didn’t end up doing any more Nights Out that weekend. I had hoped to on Sunday at least, but I was dealing with some physical health problems that pop up once in a while and decided it wasn’t going to be a realistic possibility.
As for my course, I felt like I didn’t do a good enough job with last week’s mission to justify giving myself credit for completing it, so I decided to give it another go. The mission? Act like I’m the king of my city, and that I don’t give a fuck about what anyone else thinks of me.
Night Out #14: Friday, December 10th, 2021
There’s not a whole lot to write about for this night. I ended up doing a total of around 5-6 approaches, which is a decent amount but not fantastic. I have to remind myself that just three months ago I wasn’t even doing a single approach on many of my nights out. Now even a lackluster night for me is still huge progress compared to where I was at then.
It took me a while to get started due to approach anxiety, the damned beast that keeps rearing its ugly head, but I got the ball rolling later in the night and started getting approaches in.
Most were instant blowouts. That’s what we call it when the approach instantly flops, for example if she just walks away without saying anything or tells you that she has a boyfriend right off the bat.
One girl I approached had a really good vibe. I used a direct opener, the one where I tell her how badass I think her outfit is, and it was really well received. We chatted a little, she was smiling a lot and seemed really eager to participate in the interaction, but when I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink she showed me her engagement ring. Damn. She was really hot too, easily one of the hottest girls I’ve interacted with in The Quest thus far.
That was the only notable interaction of the night.
Night Out #15: Saturday, December 11th, 2021
This isn’t directly related to The Quest, but before my Night Out began, I met up with a guy from Twitter who was staying at The Rio for the weekend. He was really cool, and I had a great time hanging out with him and having a few drinks. Here’s a shout out to you if you’re reading this, you know who you are!
This night in many ways mirrored the night before. It took me a while to get past the initial approach anxiety that I tend to start out with and get things going. I ended up doing a total of around 5-6 approaches again, and like the night before, most were instant blowouts.
One approach went alright, it seemed like my opener was received well, but shortly into the interaction she said that she was on her way back to her room. I should have asked her if she wanted to grab a drink first, but I lamed out and just said “it was nice meeting you” or whatever and ended the interaction there. She was hot too. I need to start playing to win more.
There were two great approach opportunities that I missed out on that really stuck out to me. The first one was in The Luxor, right after I grabbed one of those refrigerated Starbucks coffee drinks from one of the little stores inside the casino. I was getting tired and needed the pick-me-up. Right after I started drinking it, I noticed a really hot girl walking around by herself looking at the various slot machines. It is somewhat uncommon to see girls that hot walking around by themselves. Thing is, I didn’t want to approach with my coffee in hand because I thought that would make me look weird, so I decided that I would quickly walk around this pillar thing, chug it, and then throw it away and go do the approach. Only thing is… by the time I finished it and went back over to do the approach, she had vanished without a trace. Poof. I walked around the area for a while but never saw her again. Dammit. A great opportunity wasted.
The second of these missed opportunities was later in the night, in the MGM Grand. I saw another really hot girl walking by herself. This time I had no lame excuses. I was going to do the approach. I started to walk up, and the most intense approach anxiety I have felt in a very long time started erupting inside of me. I walked up alongside her… and I just couldn’t pull the trigger. I couldn’t overcome the anxiety. So I just kept walking. It’s hard to imagine that a girl like that could be into a guy like me, but that is just a mental block that I’m going to have to get over. I am enough.
Anyway, those were the notable moments of the night. It started out slow and gradually grew into something decent. I felt like I had some good momentum going by the end of the night, and I was disappointed I couldn't get more approaches in by the time I decided to throw in the towel, but it was after 4 AM and things were really dying down.
Final Thoughts
Overall, this was a pretty uneventful weekend, though I am not letting it discourage me. When in doubt, I remind myself of the huge progress I’ve made over the past three months. And as I said earlier, even a lackluster weekend like this one would have been considered legendary success (by my standards at least) back in say mid-September. Hell, it took me until Night Out #10 to even hit five approaches in a single night for the first time.
When I look at my performance over these two nights, there are some areas where I clearly have a lot of room for improvement. I only approached girls who were on their own. I didn’t even approach any pairs of two, let alone larger groups. It is still less clear to me how to handle group interactions compared to a one-on-one interaction, but I will never get better at group interactions if I never practice them.
Another area where I need improvement: approach angles. I only approached girls who were walking in front of me. I would walk up alongside them and open. I need to be willing to approach walking girls from the front as well, as there were plenty of opportunities I missed out on due to my lack of willingness to do this. I’ve done walking approaches from the front before. I remember doing several back on Night Out #12. So it’s definitely not impossible, it just requires a lot of guts. And that’s not even getting into some of the girls I saw leaning against walls or sitting down who I passed up for whatever lame reason.
Lastly, I’ve started to develop the bad habit of lingering around before doing an approach as I wait for what I perceive to be the “perfect” moment. This is generally a bad idea for a variety of reasons. If she notices you doing this, you pretty much blow any chance of having a good interaction as you are likely to come off as creepy or lacking in confidence. There is also a decent chance that she will do something that eliminates any potential for an approach, for example if she walks up to a blackjack table and sits down. Finally, the longer you wait, the more the approach anxiety tends to well up inside of you. This is why Mystery recommends something called the “3 Second Rule” for beginners; basically, it is recommended that you do the approach within 3 seconds of noticing her in order to prevent these things from happening.
Things I did well:
Actually going out twice in the same weekend
Getting in at least five approaches per night
Approaching some very attractive girls, like the girl with the engagement ring
Things to improve on:
Getting over approach anxiety earlier on in the night. It is taking me too long to get the ball rolling, and I end up wasting a lot of time as a result.
Playing to win. There are times when I should be trying to take the interaction a little further, mainly by asking the girl if she wants to grab a drink instead of just bailing out of the interaction too quickly.
Doing a greater variety of approaches. I am looking for very specific situations to do approaches, and that is limiting my overall number of opportunities as a result.
I need to stop lingering around waiting for the “perfect” approach opportunity and just do it right off the bat, i.e. the 3 second rule I mentioned earlier.
Stop rejecting yourself. You are enough.