Welcome to The Nerd's Quest, my journey of learning how to meet and date women as a computer nerd on the autism spectrum.
This Week’s Mission
I hadn’t made any new progress in the course I'm taking since my last night out, and I had already spent a good amount of time on the previous mission, so really I didn’t have anything particular in mind as I went out.
Night Out #26: Friday, March 18th, 2022
I wasn’t sure if I was going to go out. I had family coming to visit me the next day, and so I was a little worried about staying out super late and potentially messing up my sleep schedule. This would be the only opportunity I would have to work on The Quest this weekend, so I decided to make the most of it and just deprive myself of sleep in the morning if I needed to.
I didn’t have any particular plans in mind, so I decided that this would be a good time to try out a few more venues.
Troy Liquor Bar
This was the same venue I tried to go to towards the end of Night Out #25, but it was already closed to new entrants by the time I got there. I figured I might as well get around to checking it out for real.
I arrived a little after 11 PM. Thankfully there was no cover charge. I got inside without having to wait in line or anything and then did my usual loop around the venue to scope the place out.
There was a bar and a small dance floor. It was super loud inside. There was a balcony area that overlooked Fremont Street below. The balcony was directly across from one of the live music stages on Fremont, which meant that it was incredibly loud out there.
Another thing that I noticed was that the demographics of the bar were not ideal for someone my age: the other patrons were mostly Boomers and GenX. There were very few people under 40.
There were maybe two decent approach opportunities. First, there was a hot girl dancing by herself on the dance floor, but there was barely anyone else dancing. She was just out there getting really into it on her own. The idea of actually trying to join her was far too terrifying. So I passed it up.
Second, there were two girls together speaking off in a corner out on the balcony. If I tried to approach, I would have had to stand at a weird angle because they were partially blocked by a pillar. And again, it was way too loud out there for my liking. I should have taken the opportunity to at least get some more practice with interacting in really loud environments, but I made excuses to myself and didn’t go through with it. So I passed that one up too.
Instead, I finished my drink and left fairly quickly. I don’t think I will be returning to this venue. It’s just not worth my time.
Piranha - Las Vegas' Best Gay Nightclub
Next I decided to go to Piranha, which is ironically a gay nightclub. It styles itself as Las Vegas’ best gay nightclub. I had heard good things about the place, including that it was (surprisingly) a good place for straight men to do “game” so to speak. I figured tonight would be an ideal night to give the place a try.
I got inside a shortly after midnight. I didn’t have to wait in line for very long, and I had to pay a $20 cover to get in if I recall correctly.
I walked around and explored the venue. There were three different areas each with their own music and dance floors, plus an outside patio. There was also a small upstairs area inside that overlooked one of the dance floors.
Seeing all these Freddie Mercury-looking dudes walking around in banana hammocks made be giggle a bit. In one area, there were some male dancers who were up on podiums and wearing nothing but their banana hammocks. It was amusing to see some girls sticking dollar bills into their underwear and getting rowdy, smacking their asses and whatnot.
At one point a random dude started talking to me a bit and asked me to come sit on a couch with him and talk further. It was like he was trying to take me on an instant date. I made it clear pretty quickly that I was straight, and we ended up just hanging out and talking about autism and some other random topics for a bit.
It took me a while to get used to the place and finally start doing approaches, longer than usual it felt. After a few drinks and a bunch of wasted time wandering around, I was finally ready. I ended up doing six approaches that I can remember. Of those six, three of them were instant blowouts, so I’ll only go over the three that lasted longer than a moment or two.
First Set
There were two girls sitting on one of the couches in the patio area. I walked over and used the “on a scale of 1-10, how important is this conversation?” opener. It ended up turning into a decent interaction, though I totally failed to make it man-to-woman. We mostly just stuck to platonic chitchat. At one point one of the girls asked me if I was gay, and I said I was straight. Even though the conversation had been purely platonic, I am guessing that the fact that I even went over to talk to them made them suspicious that I wasn’t actually gay.
After a bit, they got up and decided to go back inside. I wanted to try to get a phone number from one of them, but I didn’t know how to segway into that. I ended up asking her if she lived in the area, which was a really dumb move on my part because we had just been talking about the place she was visiting from. I was thinking that if she said yes that it would be a good excuse to ask for her number, but really I should have just directly asked for it without the segway. Anyways, she said that she didn’t, and then they both went back inside and the interaction was over.
Dirty Dancing
Later I noticed another pair of girls sitting together in the outside patio area. I used the 1-10 scale opener again. But then something strange happened before the girls even had a chance to fully respond: another girl rushed over, grabbed both of the girls by the hand, and then dragged both of the girls away back towards the inside of the club.
As she was being dragged away, one of the girls turned back towards me and kept talking to me a little. I found out that the girl who was dragging her away was her girlfriend, and I don’t mean a friend who was a girl, but her actual girlfriend. She then extended her other hand out to me and asked me to come dance with her inside. I took her hand and followed them inside.
The girl who took my hand started dancing with me. She initiated everything and set the pace for how the dancing would go. It was a very intimate type of dance. We were facing each other and basically rubbing our crotches together in a way that made it look like we were having sex with our clothes on. I had never danced like this before. We also did some grinding where she turned around and had her ass pressed right up against me. It was awesome.
We tried to talk a little while dancing, but it was so loud that it was very hard to hear. At one point she asked me if I was gay, at which point I told her that I was straight. Do girls at this club generally ask guys that question, or was it because of my specific behavior that I kept getting asked this? I don’t know. She also said it was fine that if I wanted to go dance with someone else or something along those lines, but I said that I wanted to keep dancing with her.
After a little while, her girlfriend kind of shoved me out of the way and took my place and started grinding with her. The other girl joined in with them too. I was still sort of dancing with the three of them but just off to the side. Before long, the girl I had been dancing with became available again, and I went over and tried to start grinding with her again. Within a few seconds the girlfriend noticed again, shouted something at me, and shooed me away.
I just put up my hands in a gesture of surrender and walked back out into the patio area.
I glanced back over my shoulder and noticed that a bouncer was talking to the girlfriend. He was this hardcore Jason Bourne-looking guy wearing one of those earpieces you see security types wearing. After exchanging a few words with the girlfriend, he stood next to the door to the patio and started watching me, but didn’t say anything.
I just stood there looking the other way for a few moments pretending not to notice him and then walked over to go through another set of doors to a different part of the club. He didn’t follow me.
I remember feeling like I had done something wrong after this, even though logically I don’t believe that I did. The only girl who I touched was the one who had asked me to dance. In terms of the dancing itself, I was just matching the level of physical intimacy that she had already initiated. She was the one who initiated the very sexual style of dancing. Of course, I was happy to go along with it, but it wasn’t something that I had pushed her into or anything like that.
Another thing to mention is that I’m kind of paranoid around security types. Police officers, security guards, TSA agents, all that stuff. So I was relieved when I realized that the bouncer wasn’t actually going to confront me or anything.
Anyway, this was the first time in my life dancing in such a naughty, sexual way. I really liked it. I’m excited to do more of it in the future.
More Dancing and then Pokémon Go?
Later in the night I noticed a girl kind of standing around on the dance floor. I wasn’t very attracted to her, but it seemed like a good opportunity so I went over and asked her if she wanted to dance. She agreed, and we ended up dancing together for one song. We mostly grinded from what I remember. After the song ended, she left to go dance with a (presumably gay) male friend who was nearby. I found myself wondering if she stopped dancing with me because my dancing was really bad, or if she had other reasons in mind.
I wandered the club again for a while after this. Things were getting late and the staff closed off one of the dance floors.
A little while later I noticed a girl sitting on a couch by herself and looking at something on her phone. I went over and asked her why she was alone or where her friends went or something along those lines. I hadn’t realized it when I first walked over to her, but this was actually the same girl I had just been dancing with a bit earlier.
She told me that she was playing Pokémon Go. I glanced over at her phone and sure enough, she actually was. Now that’s not something I expect to see at a Las Vegas nightclub! She ended up catching a Drowzee that had somehow made it past security and gotten inside.
We chatted for a little bit about a few random topics. We talked about some different venues around town. I didn’t do any “game” for whatever reason, so the conversation stayed platonic. Still, I was able to get her phone number before she left to go find her friend again, so I at least did a decent job of handling the interaction.
My Overall Impression of Piranha
Several gay dudes hit on me throughout the night. I wasn’t bothered by it. It comes with the territory of going out to a gay nightclub! All of them were respectful except for one guy who kind of started groping me as he walked by. I was standing near an open doorway to another part of the club. This guy came through the doorway, saw me, and then immediately put his hand onto my thigh and started moving it towards my crotch, all without actually saying anything. I pushed his hand off, and then he just walked away.
I think these kinds of experiences can be valuable learning opportunities for straight men, because it gives us a firsthand taste of some of what women go through when they go out. It’s still a bit different because there isn’t a large imbalance of physical strength as would typically be the case with a man and a woman. Still, it gives us some direct experience that we normally wouldn’t have access to.
I’m very glad that my own style of “game” isn’t at all like that. I would never just start groping someone out of nowhere, and it bothers me to no end that there are men out there doing that kind of thing. It should be obvious that it’s not okay to do that. I never want to be lumped into the same category as the guys who behave that way.
Anyways, setting aside that one guy who got way too handsy way too quickly, I felt flattered rather than offended by the male attention. Even though I’m not attracted to other men that way, it still felt validating to know that other people were into me. I’ve been so starved of that kind of validation for so long that it’s addicting now that I’m finally getting some.
I’m sure I will be going back to Piranha at some point. It's more of a dancing-oriented kind of club than a place like Gold Spike, so I’ll need to get used to that. Hey, more reason to properly learn how to dance!
Final Thoughts
This was one of those nights were I had a lot of approach anxiety early on, and then later in the night when I looked back on it, I felt like such a fool for ever having it in the first place. There was never any reason to be afraid in the first place! Life begins when you actually start talking to people, and things became fun once I finally started.
I realize now that dancing can actually serve a very useful purpose. By dancing with a girl, you are able to establish a physical connection without worrying too much about what to say. When you’re dancing, you don’t have to say much. It’s also useful for very loud venues where talking would be difficult.
Looking back on the night, I barely did any actual “verbal game” in terms of the words that were coming out of my mouth. All of the conversations that I had with girls were almost completely platonic in nature. Still, there were two interactions I had that were clearly man-to-woman interactions, and it was the dancing and physical contact that clearly established that premise. That’s definitely something to keep in mind going forward. It’s not just about the verbal side of things!
Things I did well:
Dancing! In fact, the dancing was the most intimate physical contact I’ve had on any of my nights out so far. So I definitely need to give myself props there.
Going out and ultimately putting a serious effort into the night despite the slow start.
Getting the phone number from the girl who was playing Pokémon Go.
Things to improve on:
In my first set, I failed to make it a man-to-woman interaction in any capacity. I didn’t do it verbally, and I didn’t do it physically as there was no dancing. I need to not be timid and instead be bold enough to establish a clear man-to-woman premise.
I wasted a lot of time earlier on in the night due to approach anxiety. There were approach opportunities that I should have taken up and yet didn’t for some reason.
In my first set, I should have directly gone for the number close with one of the girls rather than trying to segway into it. I don’t need a segway to do a number close! I can just be like “oh hey it was nice talking to you, can I get your number?”